Where Are My Minions?

Before "Despicable Me" even came out in the theaters, my daughter was trying to describe the premise.  Among other things, she talked about Gru having minions - the little yellow guys in the movie who are going to help him take over the world. 

The possibilities of having minions!

I immediately said that I wanted some minions - not to take over the world, mind you, but a couple of extra hands to do my bidding would help immensely on most days.  (My son says that he and his sister are my minions which I am not buying because they actually don't do my bidding most days.)

Ahh...but some help who didn't ask questions, challenge my brilliant decisions and get things done in record time?  THAT I could get used to. 

Alas, I didn't have this in my 20 years' of corporate life, and I have yet to find it anywhere else.  It does make me think, though, of a list of things that I would readily hand off or delegate and of what I would spend that extra precious time on.  It also makes me think hard about why I don't take some action to create a minion force of my own - at least in a manner of speaking.

Why is it so hard to ask another mom to manage my daughter onto the bus when I have a breakfast meeting (yes, it's the same bus her daughter rides)?

Why do I feel like I have to continually justify having someone clean the house every 2 weeks (especially when I'd really like to have it done weekly)?

Why do I feel like treats should be homemade (although not at school because that's some sort of accreditation/allergy issue)?

Why do I hold myself responsible for the general stability and day-to-day running of the household when there is one other highly responsible adult and 2 getting-there kids?

I think getting minions might actually be easier than answering these questions!  Sure, I have made amazing progress on my journey - and can help you along the path that I've traveled - but the evolution continues. 

What about you?  Are you still looking for your minions - and letting that keep your from creating the life you truly desire as a busy woman executive? 

What Is Your Definition of Balance?

Not a week goes by that you don’t see some sort of article or comment on work-life balance or some equivalent.  Oddly enough, it is usually women who are the subject of these musings even though men can have similar issues.  But, we’re not talking about them here – we’re talking about you as a busy executive who wants to find a better balance.

The first key is to determine what you really want your balance to be.  You may want to work 60 hours a week – or maybe 20 hours.  You may want or need to spend time with older parents or younger kids.  You may want to focus on your health, take art classes or travel.  Until you determine these priorities, though, finding your personal balance can be elusive.

Here are some questions you ask yourself right now to figure out what balance means to you.

·         Are you frequently feeling stress or guilt about not paying attention to certain parts of your life (health, family, friends, career)?  Be honest with yourself without being judgmental.  Don’t rationalize your feelings away by assuming that everyone else is also stressed, and it is just the way it has to be.  It may actually take some time to get to how you really feel simply because you have become so ingrained in the patterns of a busy executive’s life.

·         If you could redesign your life with no limits, what would it look like?  You can start by thinking of this as a “dream life” if that helps.  No limits applies to money, time and location.  See it in your mind and write it down.   Does this redesigned life look like your current life?  If not, how is it different?  What areas would you spend more time in and which ones would get less? 

·         What is a perfect “normal” day for you?  What is part of it – and what isn’t?  A “perfect” day can start to look like a mini-vacation, and that’s not what you are going for in this answer.  Would it include exercise and plenty of healthy foods with time to actually eat them?  Would it be leaving the office on time to attend your child’s game or have dinner with a friend?  Would it simply be that you will feel energized and creative at work with plenty of that same energy available at the end of the day?  How is this day different than the ones you recently experienced? 

In reflecting on these questions, what you have you learned?  Do you see things that now need to change?   What part of your day or your life is working really well?  What baby step can you implement this week to move you closer to the balance you want?

(Note:  This article came from the February 22nd edition of my Having It All! newsletter.  To get articles and other great content like this, you can sign up to receive the newsletter at http://www.peeklifestylecoaching.com/ (before you enter the main site), along with the OTHER items in my “How To Have It All Without Losing Your Mind” Sanity Kit for Busy Women Executives (completely FREE and designed to give you crucial information that you can act on immediately to create the life you truly desire).

Random Acts of Kindness

Today is February 14th...Valentine's Day...a day filled with love, flowers and candy.  It is also the first day of Random Acts of Kindness week.  The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation  is inviting everyone to take the Extreme Kindness Challenge.  They suggest an act of kindness for the day, and you go do it.


As nice as the idea is, it can really feel like one more obligation, one more thing on your to-do list.  Valentine's Day can feel the same way since it seems to have grown to be a very celebrated holiday.  There are all of the Valentine's Day school obligations (boxes, cards, candy, party treats), cards and gifts for family and significant others and the madness of getting a dinner reservation or cooking a full course meal at home.

Be randomly kind to yourself!

It's enough to make you want to boycott a day that should be giving you a warm fuzzy feeling. 

So how can you "feel the love" and even be part of a random act of kindness without adding stress? 

Start with yourself first.

That's right.  This Valentine's Day kick off a week of being randomly kind to yourself.  You can use the suggestions from the Random Acts of Kindness website or make up your own.  Your list could include:

• A long bubble bath
• A glass of wine and 30 minutes with a favorite book
• 15 minutes sitting in the sun (it's finally getting warm enough to think about this!)
• A solitary lunch at a favorite cafe (take a book if you want)
• Lunch with a friend that just seems to keep getting postponed
• A Skype date with a long-distance friend or relative
• Whatever makes you smile!

What ideas can you come up with on your own?  Which one are you going to do first?  I would love to hear what your ideas are and how they turn out.

Happy Valentine's Day!

P.S. - Of course, you can be randomly kind to others too!  Just don't forget to fill up your own tank along with everyone else's...

Life Is A Chance...Be Daring

"All life is a chance. So take it! The person who goes furthest is the one who is willing to do and dare."  - Dale Carnegie

When I read this quote, I immediately thought of the chances I have taken in my personal life...starting several businesses, having kids, travelling. And then I thought that such a list, while exciting, isn't really the whole picture of who I am.

What about my corporate career - and moving to a new group only to find it meaningless after a merger was announced?

What about creating a new network of resources and contacts when I changed jobs, started a new business and successfully sold another?

What about the entirely new way of thinking about eating, exercising and other self-care investments that started as I approached 40 - resulting in loads of energy (and the letting go of 20+ pounds)?


How are you being daring in YOUR life?



There are chances we take and pass up every day. Some are as simple as trying new food or going ice skating with your kids. Some are as daring as walking away from an energy-draining job or friendship that has been part of your life for years. Of course, all involve a choice. Being daring doesn't mean, though, that your choice has to be to act or do something.

Being daring and willing to do can also mean NOT doing. It can mean starting to say "no" more often and set boundaries that give us (back) the life we crave. It can mean that we no longer follow the crowd to a hectic, subdivision life of "normal" jobs, kids' sports, SUVs and Florida vacations. It can mean that we say "yes" to ourselves more often - even if that is just a bubble bath instead of one more hour at the office.

What can you do this week that is daring? What would taking that chance, stepping out of your mold do for you, your family, your friends?

Is Your Bacon Burned?

Recently, a friend of mine (a mom with a full-time corporate job and a full family life) made the following post on Facebook:

Remember the jingle from the early 80's where the woman danced and sang..."I can bring home the bacon and I can fry it up in a pan"? Well, here's to hoping that woman has a full-time job, traveling husband, three busy kids and is as STRESSED out as I am right now! I hope her bacon is burned!

I'm sure you can imagine the chorus of supporting voices who joined in!

Does this sound like your life...or maybe just the life of someone you know?

Stress can seep into every corner of your day and literally make you want to burn that bacon - or someone else's. Here are some quick tips to help you destress quickly and be better able to handle the rest of your day (or night).

• Take 10 deep, slow breaths. In less than one minute, your heart rate will approach normal and you will be in a much better frame of mind to deal with work pressures, family life and even rush hour.
• Take a quick walk. Outside, inside, whatever. Just change your scenery. Five minutes of physical movement, especially if you can combine it with fresh air, can change your mood and your perspective.
• Take a musical break. Music can change your mood almost immediately - especially if you choose the right kind to do just that. What is the "right kind?" It is the music that makes you smile and your toes tap. For me, that is nearly always '80's music (I know - I'm dating myself). For you, it could be Sinatra or Lady Gaga.
• Let go of perfection.  Whether you breathe, walk or groove through it, letting go of the ideal (bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan) may be the biggest long-term sanity maker in your life.  It's not easy - doing really well is what you do.  Going for less than perfection can seem odd at first, but it will give you the option to focus on your real priorities instead of trying to do it all perfectly.

What's even better than doing one of these? Combining them! Listen to some relaxing music while taking those 10 deep breaths. Grab your MP3 and take it on your walk.  And, of course, you can let a little of that perfection go with every breath or every step.

Try just one of these the next time your bacon is burning...and let me know how it goes!